In an instance or phase of emotional decline, it is hard to recall the recovery strategy we have learned to counter it, given we are distracted with our attention elsewhere. We simply must apply the resource of knowledge we have accumulated, in the critical moment. It’s well worth the practise, so that the impact of a fall is greatly reduced, and return to centre is swift.
I am most adept at transforming less good mood and feeling states, into ideal states of being. After 20+ years of feeling challenged, I now understand that it is possible to choose to live creatively, joyfully, and with a sense of adventure, of radical aliveness; my version, of my ideal life. And this is an extraordinary gift of knowing, to know that you have the power, you have the privilege of choice, you have the capacity and the means exists for you to experience the best version of both your life and yourself. This knowing is a significant and valuable one; we must acknowledge and appreciate personal responsibility however, if we are going to come to heal and prosper in this life.
Modern life does not encourage reflective practise as a standard, which is unfortunate. Reflective practise and self-observation are essential in realising more ideal conditions to enable you to come to thrive, to arrive at sustained wellness and a sense of fulfilment. In reflection, we must be honest with ourselves; denial of the self is systemically damaging. The battle between our greater and lesser selves is ongoing, and discerning our truths from all else is an necessary part of the process.
I recommend an approach of relentless learning (a combination of seeking guidance and developing the self), for the more informed we become, the better equipped we are in the practise of best-management. Naturally, I also champion regular maintenance sessions with a coach.
Exploration is where we find our answers, which translate into new strategy approaches. I feel that we really should question everything. We should test the limits of our window of tolerance, we should be curious to the ‘new’ and reveal the unchartered self. If we can identify negative stressors and eliminate them, challenge any addictive behaviour and move beyond outdated personal narratives (that neither serve us or enable our success) we can arrive at better ways of being.
It takes courage to explore, and if we do not, how can we come to know that other possibilities and alternatives exist? We may assume that ‘this is my lot’….and feel despair, but with expansion of the self, I find untold wonders exists not far off, and not only do they exist but typically they exceed all our expectations, so take heart in that. Faith, as a concept is developed, and is realised through repeated triumphs in both our inner and outer worlds.
Here are some pointers to use as a reference tool: pre-empt decline…
- Know your ‘basic needs’, the conditions, both internal and external, which arrive you at daily wellbeing, function and output.
- Commitment is key to transcending any self-sabotaging tendencies, and it will help motivate.
- Vow that you are 100% committed to recovery and becoming long-term healed. Make a contract with yourself even.
- Contemplate, for reflective practise should be a standard; in taking stock we can be assured of our next move ahead.
- Do not get as far as the impasse, instead arrive sooner at a comprehensive awareness of self and indicators, which inform the potential for decline.
- Take action in applying your ‘S.O.S. days’ strategy.
- Avoid scholarly melancholy, by remaining active and engaged, to keep present.
- Be honest with yourself, and equally, transparent with your support network, or coach.
- Increase the level of observing ego, so as to objectify the experience enough to step back and perceive with fresh eyes, and avert overwhelm.
- Establish a sustainable individual ecosystem, one that avoids toxic people and situations. Find yourself preferably in a nurturing and validating space.
- Discern the true nature of your experience; what is the reality here? Do not drift off into your history. Separate any history being triggered, from the current central dilemma.
- Know your window of tolerance - honour it , respect it, for the most part accept it and expand it as and when you can.
- Identify stressors, and equally what makes you feel really happy. Both are important for navigation ahead. Personal values are useful universal indicators.
- Summon the courage to continue on the path of developing the self and healing the psyche, through process and attention. There’s no need to approach this relentlessly, rather intermittently and at a gentle pace, so as to enjoy a sense of progress, and give yourself space for reflection and coming to terms.
- Command help and support as you need it. Have a wealth of tools at the ready to transform less-good days dawning. Develop valuable habits.
The more practised I become at tuning in to indicators early enough, with an advanced level of self-awareness, I find now I can even pre-empt a decline and bypass it all together, which is a relief.
Every life needs support. Do reach out sooner.